Dear Regency,
Even before we met,
I tried to control you,
With what I thought
Was best for my formation.
I imagined making better use of myself,
Weaving my medical background
Into the apostolic ministries of the Society.
Yet you resisted, asserted yourself,
And revealed that there was
Something greater I did not yet see.
I yielded out of trust in God,
Who always surprises me.
Gave way through obedience
To the Provincial who embodies that trust.
I thank you for your insistence and
For how much you hold in store.
At the beginning, your grip felt very firm.
Though I already had experience working
In institutions, with groups, and alongside others,
I still felt deeply challenged.
But as time passed and I listened more attentively to God,
I realized that I was the one making things harder.
I was deceived by inner voices
Telling me I should already be able to catch up.
I gave myself the illusion
That I could make sense of everything immediately,
That I could give myself everywhere, at all times, to everyone.
So stubborn was I until my body finally gave way.
It happened once during Mass, when I collapsed,
Out of breath while singing the Responsorial Psalm,
Out of breath as I conducted the choir after rushing from afar.
Such a dramatic fall worried my students.
Though only a single episode, it revealed
That I was indeed chasing something,
Burdened by exaggerated expectations
That lacked compassion for my own limits.
Waking from that brief slumber,
You invited me to see you differently,
Not as one I must run after,
But as one always beside me,
Patiently offering a hand.
I had long been demanding of myself,
Eager to learn how to teach and
Moderate classes properly.
Only later did I realize
that I simply needed time to guide me
Into a way of teaching unique to me.
A way that draws on foundational elements,
But more importantly, allows my personality and
Jesuit character to shine forth.
When I expected to be a Jesuit presence
That would brighten the faculty community,
I later discovered that I simply needed to be myself.
Sometimes helping, but often ordinary, even irreverent.
I was reminded again that God sits with us,
Laughs with us, and suffers with us.
My fellow teachers showed me,
Through their own experiences,
That God is present even
When life feels darker, uncertain, and difficult.
My coworkers, whom I often tease playfully,
Have their quirks and limitations,
Yet I am continually amazed by their gifts.
Their empathy when one of us is in need,
Their concern for their students’ welfare,
And most especially their selflessness toward their families,
Giving time, energy, and resources
Simply to make them feel loved.
When I thought I was supposed to guide students,
I discovered instead that they taught me
More than I could ever teach them.
When I thought I could no longer feel strong love in my heart,
A love I thought I could only experience
From God during the Novitiate,
Through you, I found that love alive once more.
Through my students,
I learned again how to love unconditionally.
I learned to pray deeply and sincerely for them.
I learned to discern how best to relate to each one,
Cutting away resistance and keeping conversations open.
I learned to balance discipline with compassion for their good.
I learned to support them in small ways.
I learned to rejoice genuinely when they achieved extra awards,
To grieve quietly when I unintentionally disappointed them,
To receive love, thinking that I only acted out of duty.
Fully aware of my many limitations, yet still called to give,
I learned to beg sincerely for graces,
So that I might be a channel of grace for others.
I learned to beg for quiet joy,
To brighten another’s world even for a moment.
I learned to beg for spontaneity,
To connect in friendship.
I learned to beg for patience,
Especially when students remained challenging.
I learned to beg for compassion,
When others needed someone to be present.
And when what I begged for was not given,
I learned to surrender and trust God,
That even in darkness,
He continues to work for good
In ways I may never witness.
Yet the greatest teaching you facilitated is this.
Students are like gems still up for polishing.
Each one requires different care
So that their unique brilliance can emerge.
With this, I also notice a paradox,
that it is precisely in their roughness
That one learns how to love them.
Reflected in me,
I too am a gem up for polishing,
Especially as I accompany others and
Live out my Jesuit life.
Like them, my own roughness reveals the depth
Of how much I am loved by the One
Who has always guided me
From the very beginning.
Thank you, Regency, for being the classroom
Where God challenges me with discipline, rules, and rigor.
Thank you for being a safe space
Where God celebrates my small victories
And shows compassion as I continue forward.
Finally, it is in the Jesuit community
That I continue to find a safe space with God.
When I thought I was to contribute to the community,
I discovered instead that I was the one helped,
Gaining brothers and friends within our Least Society.
I was reminded of how unique each Jesuit is and
Witnessed how these differences
Add color to the community.
Though imperfect shades exist,
They only enrich the community,
Strengthening its loving tolerance and challenge.
It is in the Jesuit community that I can simply be,
whether tired, hungry, sick,
in need of guidance, or ready for a laugh.
It is in the community
Where opportunities for edification happen.
With each one having their unique giftedness,
With each one adding vibrant color to each circle of influence.
Thank you, Regency, for being
So generous a channel of God’s grace.
Thank you for giving me a glimpse
Of how meaningful the apostolic life is and can be.
Thank you for accompanying me so patiently
As I continue to discover the beauty of Jesuit life.
May you continue to surface our lights and shadows,
so that God may continue to transform
Each of us for our own good,
And for the good of His Kingdom.
In the past, present, and in the generations to come.
God be praised, now and forever!
Sincerely,
James
Sch. James Ryan C. Seneriches, SJ holds a Bachelor of Science in Nursing and a Doctor of Medicine degree prior to entering the Society of Jesus. He entered the Novitiate on August 1, 2020. Currently, he is assigned to the Junior High School of Ateneo de Zamboanga University as a faculty member of the Science Department, teaching Grade 10. He also serves as Class Moderator for Grade 10 and Club Moderator for the Youth Christian Life Community.